Without Him
by thecrazyLaDiDa
Summary: Oneshot: Hiccup needs Jack, if not one more time.


_**Hey guys, I guess I'm back. Recently I've been OBSESSED with Hijack feels. I don't even know where they came from! From no where I started shipping these two (and it definitely had nothing, nope, nothing, to do with the multitude of fan fiction I've been reading lately), so out of no where comes this oneshot. I wouldn't necessarily call it fluffy...but if you find it that way, then by all means, call it fluffy WARNING: Do notice it contains boyxboy, so if you don't agree with that, leave and don't read this. Also, rated teen for swearing. **_

_**If you wouldn't mind leaving a review...that'd be great! They tell me whether you like what you read, or if not. **_

_**And of course, I have to add that I do not own How to Train Your Dragon (although that would be freaking awesome) and same goes for Rise of the Guardians. One more thing: t**__**he picture I used for the art is not mine- it belongs to "**_**_xxMeMoRiEzxx" on deviant, who was kind enough to let me use the beautiful picture of Jack. It's called "It's not enough- Jack Frost."_**

* * *

"Jack!" _Drip_. "Jack. JACK!" The voice yelled over and over again, way past the stage of caring who else heard him. Past the stage of caring at all, actually. Let this be the end of him. He could die for all he cared, so long that he would get one more glimpse of his white haired friend.

_Friend? _He couldn't help but think, _or lover_? They never had been clear on that.

If dying was what he to do to see Jack one more time, he'd do it. The bottle slipped from his fingers like sand and fell to the ground in a crash. Even he jumped. The noise seemed defeaning in the silence of the alleyway.

"Jack, where are you?" He asked, voice cracking at the end. He sounded broken. A tear slipped down his cheeks, barely sounding when it hit the puddle at his feet. Images of his white haired friend raced through his mind. He couldn't stop it even if he tried, and pray tell he had counted how many times he had. Every man has a breaking point; this was his

The cold stone of the wall welcomed him; embraced him when he leaned back and let go.

* * *

The wind was a strange thing. Not even a thing, an entity. Like the moon, or like the golden sand of time.

Time: it never stood still, never slowing down for no one. _Father Time._ How many times had Jack tried to speak to him? Tried to coax an answer out of the spirit of time. Frankly, more than he could count on his fingers.

Tonight was no different.

"Please, just please, Father Time, listen to what I have to say." He paused to listen for a sound that someone, anyone, heard him. But as usual, he was running his mouth.

"If you're listening-" by now he wasn't sure if he was talking to Father Time or the man on the moon himself "-make my time flow again. I want to be human, I want to be mortal." The only thing on his mind as the words were spoken was a certain, brown haired, green eyed twit that was every waking thought of every waking second of his motherfucking mind.

The second the words left his lips, the wind began whipping around him like the angry mass it was. Blue eyes widened despite the whiplash he received against his sensitive skin. He listened. And heard something.

Before Father Time could make his presence known, the teen who was old beyond imagination took off with the wind; a blue streak against the black sky.

* * *

Silent footsteps resonated through stone. Green eyes flicked upwards, straining to see who now stood not ten feet away. The drunken haze he'd drunken himself into sure didn't help. It was a laugh that tore through his throat when he squinted.

Could it really be? Jack _fucking_ Frost had decided to join the party?

He laughed dryly. And took another sip of the bottle in his hand.

The white haired boy looked at him with pity filled eyes before speaking.

"You're drunk again."

Hiccup gave a small hiccup. It jolted his entire frame. "You came."

Jacks eyes roved over his body, taking in the weary slump and untamed state Hiccup was in. He didn't even try to say anything to answer the teen.

Hiccup stared at him, his unstable mind suddenly growing angry. This was all Jack was going to do? After months of leaving Hiccup on his own, all he was going to do was stand there and _stare_? Like he was some piece in a fucking museum to be _gawked_ at?

He tried to stand- _bad idea_, because his two legs -one wrought from flesh and blood and the other from metal- could barely move from the ground. He pitched forward, readily expecting the cold ground to meet his face like the so many times it had happened in the past.

A faint breeze lifted him from a last second impact, and he didn't have to look up to know his best friend was crouching in front of him. Hell, he could smell the winter fairy. And he smelled like winter. And pine trees. Memories tickled the back of his mind.

_He smelled like Jack._

"You always come when I call you." He couldn't stop the words tumbling out his mouth. He sounded needy. And he hated it.

Blue eyes looked at him with a restless concern in them. "C'mon, we need to get you home," Jack said, taking Hiccup by the forearm and heaving him upwards. He tried not to notice the absence of muscle that had used to be there last time they touched. _Months ago_. Now Hiccup's arm was nothing but skin and bones, deteriorated after time spent wallowing in misery.

Jack hated himself for turning Hiccup into a mental case. He _hated_ himself. If it weren't for their meeting years ago, this would have never happened.

With one hand gripping his staff, he curled the other around the brunettes waist, shifting slightly so that they could start walking. Hiccup leaned into Jack's chest, letting himself be taken in by embrace of the winter spirit before tearing himself away with a deep breath.

Arms still clad with the riding armor he donned earlier that day, he caged the white haired boy in, forcing him across the alleyway and into a wall. Hiccup leaned against his right arm, hating the way the world seemed to tip and spin from under his feet. Jack's back touched the stone, the blue eyes ever so intent as he watched unleashed anger spring tears to his best friends green ones.

The lamp blew out, bathing them in darkness, but not dark enough that Hiccup couldn't see those expressive blue eyes looking sorrowfully into his own.

"Why?" He whispered. He wanted to scream, to yell, but he could barely bring his voice to a faint whisper. How did that happen? Why did Jack have such an affect on him?

It had always been like this. Always him who had to hide the blushes and stutters his friend had inflicted on him, probably without even knowing about Hiccup's growing feelings. But that hat had all changed, hadn't it, when Jack had kissed him against the wall of his own house months ago. It felt like years.

Bringing his arm up to gently touch the one caging him in, Jack continued to stare boldly into the green eyes. "You're gonna catch a cold here. Lets get you back home." He tried to infuse his voice with the softest, most caring tone his vocal cords could produce. The boy in front of him was balancing on the tip of the knife; one wrong word and he would snap.

But if anything, Hiccup looked even more livid, all the fight in his eyes almost scaring Jack. He tightened his grip on the brunettes arm unconsciously.

"Why do you always LEAVE me?!" Hiccup spat, face not inches from Jack's.

Silence fell over the duo like a shadow, cloaking everything in a tense, almost hateful, atmosphere. Blue eyes locked coldly onto the green ones. Hiccup swore he had never seen Jack so…was that anger in his features? Or sadness?

"We both know that immortals and mortals can't be together," Jack responded back calmly, feeling anything but the calm he put on like a cloak.

A facade.

Clutching Jack's arms in a tight hold, Hiccup screamed at him, the tears in his eyes all but leaking as he scrunched up his face. The next words almost broke Jack's heart.

"_I fell in love with you! Can't you make an exception or something?!"_

It was a scream, a cry for help. It was unlike Hiccup. It was so wrong, so out of character, that Jack suddenly realized with a jolt how much pain Hiccup must be in.

All that pain…caused by him…

How could Jack stop it? How could Jack turn Hiccup back into the sarcastic little twerp he had loved, and not this broken, dead eyed man he had morphed into?

There was only one answer: Hiccup had to forget about him.

Jack had a conscious, he always did. But whenever he listened to it, nothing good came out of it. And this time, it was telling him to stay. But he couldn't…he had to go. Staying only meant prolonging the fissure of a wound that would eventually heal. Him being there only hurt Hiccup more.

And with that in mind, he picked up his other hand and gently plucked Hiccup's fingers off of him with cold fingers. The other's eyes widened at the actions the male in front of him was initiating.

Was Jack trying to _leave_?

Down to the last finger, Jack plucked it off him, not once meeting Hiccup's gaze. If he had, he wouldn't have the willpower to leave. Neither spoke a word as he moved past the younger boy and toward his staff.

Hiccup was openly crying now, tears cascading down his cheeks without even an attempt to quell them.

Bullshit. _Bullshit_.

Did Jack love him, or no? Were all those words spoken at the dead of night all _lies_? Were the "I love you's" _lies_? Because if they were…if they fucking were, hiccup was a broken man.

Jack was leaving. He was going to leave him.

No. Just, fucking _no_.

Grabbing the blue sweatshirt that had become worn out with time, Hiccup summoned all the energy he had left -which wasn't much- and pulled Jack toward him. Those blue eyes didn't even widen when Hiccup's lips clashed against his in a sudden bout of passion and angst.

It tasted salty. Just like the soundless tears Hiccup cried.

Lips molded together in a heated embrace that spoke of nothing but longing, Hiccup coaxed the spirits mouth open and slid his tongue in, relishing the feel of Jack. But the other's mouth remained stoic, unmoving. Hiccup may as well been kissing stone. And when Hiccup realized that Jack wasn't kissing him back, he gripped him closer. Only closeness could stop the aching in his chest, right?

In a second, his heart felt like it had been mauled over.

Letting Jack go, he stumbled backwards and sank to the ground. His prosthetic didn't have such a graceful landing and splayed outward at an unnatural angle. He tried to hold in the feeling of his chest tearing apart, but he couldn't help the moan that ripped out his throat. The sadness he felt only intensified when he felt a warm hand brushing his head lightly.

_A goodbye..?_

The fingers curled into his brown hair, so untamed and wild, before petting softly.

That was it. Jack must be leaving.

_No no no no no no_. All those years of lusting after the white haired teen, and this is what it came to? A good bye? Hiccup clutched himself tighter, embarrassed by the tears he couldn't hold in, not this time. His body was racked with sobs.

But then when he least expected it, he felt cold warmth against his back; his breath instantly hitching in his throat. Jack unexpectedly sat behind him, snaking pale arms around Hiccup's waist, pulling the small sobbing body into the crevice of his own. They fit perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle. Just like they always had, even if they hadn't known it. Tucking Hiccup into him even closer, Jack placed his head over Hiccup's, rocking them slowly until Hiccup's tears came to a stop.

Both were basked in the moonlight, but both breathed in the air like it was something they didn't have enough of.

_The love between us shouldn't exist_, Jack thought.

_But I fall apart when I am not with him_, Hiccup finished.

* * *

_**So that just happened. **_

_**Alright, chow! Happy 2014!**_

_**Leave a review if you can...they really make my day. :)**_


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